The Beauty Soap – Box

I got a wee bit angry this afternoon, I think it had been brewing and it just bubbled all up and out and then I realized I was standing on my soap box and I giggled at my self and admitted this to my loving husband who was receiving the ear bashing and he looked at me with absolute love and said – you need to blog about this. So I am. This is it. I don’t want to ear bash you and hopefully I wont now I have vented at my poor husband – sorry honey, whoopsy daisy :) 

Watching the idiot box, we came across some footage of Nicole Kidman at the Idol finale, my husband made a comment about how old she is, more the fact at how beautiful she looks but that she must have had ‘work’ done. I stopped smiling, I felt sad, I felt angry, not at Ray but at this big old societal machine that judges people for how they look. I made a few comments about feeling sad for her that she had to succumb to the pressure of Hollywood and have a plastic face rather than just love and celebrate her amazing talented self, I felt sad for a beautiful, creative, talented woman to only be seen and judged for her looks. Ray then googled and straight up found an article about Nicole and the ‘work’ oh my gah, that was it, I lost it.

We have been taught from a very young age to judge, criticise, hate be cruel, segregate and dismiss people based on their looks – what the flip, we do it to others and we do it to ourselves. And I am f%#king sick of it.

I am sick of 32 years of judging myself as less than because of how much I weigh, the type of clothes I’m wearing or not wearing, the shape of my body, the colour of my hair and skin. I’m f%#king sick of comparing myself to everyone else.

No more, no more will I ever weigh myself, f%#k you glass scales, to the bin with you

No more will I keep those little pair of shorts I fit into 10 years ago in my cupboard and only judge myself beautiful when I can fit back into them, to the fire with you tiny shorts.

No longer will I give a rats arse if my dreadlock, unbrushed hair or dirty feet offend anyone.

I am so f%#king sick of this ugly beauty industry that fills our heads with lies and shame and tests products on animals all for what – to make us all miserable and catty and broken?

I don’t care who the first person was who told me I am not good enough, I don’t even care who the last person was, I let all that shit go and I now wholeheartedly promise to love myself. I am more than good enough I am great.

Regina Spektor’s Folding Chair song keeps playing in my head –‘I’ve got a perfect body cause my eyelashes catch my sweat’ – Boom, that’s all I need, a healthy, strong body so I can dance like a happy loon in my 80’s.

I let go of the girl who constantly hid her body because she couldn’t stop for one moment calling herself fat or picking at herself or finding fault in everything.

I lovingly forgive everyone who asked me if I was pregnant because my poor belly was bloated from auto immune and hormonal issues.

I lovingly embrace and accept and let go of the girl who must have had some body dismorphia as she never realised how gorgeous she was growing up.

I lovingly let go of every article of clothing that does not make me, just me, not you, not anyone else but me, HAPPY. I will only dress for happiness.

I with wholehearted glee throw those f%#king scales in the bin and I will always remember that numbers with never say anything true about how loved I am, about how well I can love or anything what so ever about happiness.

When the urge to pick at myself arises I will tune into my breath and recognise the habit of my swirling thoughts picking on my self and lovingly stop.

I will NEVER buy one spec of ‘ugly’ beauty product that has harmed anything or anyone in the making of it I don’t care how much red lipstick looks awesome I don’t want a fecking speck of it near me unless its full to the brim with love.

I don’t want any gossipy bullshit anywhere near me either, I lovingly say ‘hell no’ to trashy websites, ‘un-news’ and crappola magazines that trash talk men and women for how they look, what they wear, how fat, skinny, pretty or ugly they are, this also goes for general conversation. I have had it, if there is nothing uplifting, beautiful or love filled to say to someone, please do not say it, in fact if you feel like bitching about someone else just pause and fill your heart with love for yourself first. Always come from this place of love and smoosh it all over everyone everywhere please if you are judging everyone, have some kind words with yourself because I am sure you are judging yourself worse and I beg of you please DON’T DO THAT 

YOU ARE AMAZIBLE 

I PROMISE YOU!