Sun in Virgo, Moon in Leo
Recently at a family function i was asked this question. It was nice really and i shouldn't have been too surprised; you can't go around having family members requesting spells from you without someone wanting to know more!
I remember when i first realised i was a witch ...
I had a few profound experiences with meditation at around 12 years of age. One at school that baffled my teachers and had them keeping me in at lunch to draw images of the creatures i had seen and another time with a magikal family friend who was doing an energy healing on my mother while I was sitting on the floor in the room. I felt the energies so deeply, it was like i disappeared and merged with another space, later my mother's friend said that i was "off with the faeries." This could have been taken as a bit derogatory, 'she's such a daydreamer' all my teachers would say, but my mother's friend actually meant that i was actually, very literally away with the faeries... real faeries. The idea delighted me.
A few months later staying with another family friend i began having strange dreams and she did my very first smudging or aura cleanse on me and took me to a New Agey crystal shop in the local town where i found this book ..
All i knew was what the TV told me and it wasn't too flash ....
Of course there was always Glinda and Samantha and Sabrina? They weren't horrible. But they felt so far fetched, so far away from my small suburban world of 12.
When i was 13, i still hadn't grown out of my 'phase' and I told my best friend i wanted to be a witch when i grew up and she didn't mind/care but when i announced it in the car to her mother she nearly drove us all off the road in hysterics!
Hmmm.
I spoke with our family friend again who had originally said i was off with the faeries. "I really want to be a witch so much," i said in desperation, "I don't know what to do?"
"Do?" She puzzled "If you want to be something so much it is because you are already that."
'Woah i am a witch just like that, that easy?' I thought. Our friend went on to explain that identifying with something so intensely and recognising it, is your way of knowing yourself and desiring to return to a unified sense of self.
Most people my age liked the sitcom Friends and listening to music and that was it. So i shut up about it, and instead turned inward and started collecting candles, crystals and incense and hunting out quirky bookshops, markets and new age stores.
Some more witchy films were then released, this time expanding my horizons, these characters and their magik was more 'real' to me.
There wasn't any internet back then for me to find anyone like minded which added to my feelings of weird and being a weirdo. I used it to my advantage somehow and followed the path of my heart, i moved my bed to under the window so each moon i could be bathed in moonlight in my sleep, i wrote poetry in trance, practised candle magik and mediation, and hunted for the magikal energy i generated while in these moments in the outside world during storms or when the butterflies came to play in the lavender.
Now I have grown up and no i didn't grow out of that phase! I have met a wonderful group of women who have become my dear sisters and i practice my craft solitary and with them. For a while i walked the path of wicca but have since just understood my spiritual path to be that of the witch - not the green faced monster but that of the wise woman, the healer, the priestess, the goddess, the faerie, the herbalist, the artist, the yogi and the dreamer.
Some more real and positive witchy role models have come my way too and i have been blessed enough to meet them and attend work shops, concerts and retreats with them - such a blessing for a girl who felt like the last unicorn for quite a while!
Fiona Horne www.fionahorne.com/
Wendy Rule www.wendyrule.com/
Lucy Cavendish www.lucycavendish.com/
So despite Pop cultures influence on ideas of witches, i know who i am but I don't think i have ever come right out and said it before... i think i have hid behind the term pagan or faerie or something like that.
It is time to authentically express who i am, to not shy away or fear, for how can i dispel fear if i am afraid of being open about a major aspect of my self?
Ah relief, I guess i'm out of the broom closet then...
Blessed Be
xx
Recently at a family function i was asked this question. It was nice really and i shouldn't have been too surprised; you can't go around having family members requesting spells from you without someone wanting to know more!
I remember when i first realised i was a witch ...
I had a few profound experiences with meditation at around 12 years of age. One at school that baffled my teachers and had them keeping me in at lunch to draw images of the creatures i had seen and another time with a magikal family friend who was doing an energy healing on my mother while I was sitting on the floor in the room. I felt the energies so deeply, it was like i disappeared and merged with another space, later my mother's friend said that i was "off with the faeries." This could have been taken as a bit derogatory, 'she's such a daydreamer' all my teachers would say, but my mother's friend actually meant that i was actually, very literally away with the faeries... real faeries. The idea delighted me.
A few months later staying with another family friend i began having strange dreams and she did my very first smudging or aura cleanse on me and took me to a New Agey crystal shop in the local town where i found this book ..
 |
| A witch's guide to faery folk |
 |
| Witch Hazel from Looney Tunes |
"Oh my gosh I'm a Witch" i realised. I don't know how i knew but i did, i knew it in my very bones despite the absurdity of it all.
What did i know about witches?All i knew was what the TV told me and it wasn't too flash ....
 |
| The Wicked Witch of The West - from The Wizard of Oz |
 |
| Witches by Roald Dahl |
 |
| The Hocus Pocus Sisters |
 |
| Disneys Witches - The Evil Step Mother, Maleficent, Mad Madam Mim, Ursula Sea Witch |
 |
| Bewitched - Endora & Samantha |
 |
| Glinda |
 |
| Sabrina & Salem |
When i was 13, i still hadn't grown out of my 'phase' and I told my best friend i wanted to be a witch when i grew up and she didn't mind/care but when i announced it in the car to her mother she nearly drove us all off the road in hysterics!
Hmmm.
I spoke with our family friend again who had originally said i was off with the faeries. "I really want to be a witch so much," i said in desperation, "I don't know what to do?"
"Do?" She puzzled "If you want to be something so much it is because you are already that."
'Woah i am a witch just like that, that easy?' I thought. Our friend went on to explain that identifying with something so intensely and recognising it, is your way of knowing yourself and desiring to return to a unified sense of self.
Most people my age liked the sitcom Friends and listening to music and that was it. So i shut up about it, and instead turned inward and started collecting candles, crystals and incense and hunting out quirky bookshops, markets and new age stores.
Some more witchy films were then released, this time expanding my horizons, these characters and their magik was more 'real' to me.
 |
There wasn't any internet back then for me to find anyone like minded which added to my feelings of weird and being a weirdo. I used it to my advantage somehow and followed the path of my heart, i moved my bed to under the window so each moon i could be bathed in moonlight in my sleep, i wrote poetry in trance, practised candle magik and mediation, and hunted for the magikal energy i generated while in these moments in the outside world during storms or when the butterflies came to play in the lavender. Now I have grown up and no i didn't grow out of that phase! I have met a wonderful group of women who have become my dear sisters and i practice my craft solitary and with them. For a while i walked the path of wicca but have since just understood my spiritual path to be that of the witch - not the green faced monster but that of the wise woman, the healer, the priestess, the goddess, the faerie, the herbalist, the artist, the yogi and the dreamer.
Some more real and positive witchy role models have come my way too and i have been blessed enough to meet them and attend work shops, concerts and retreats with them - such a blessing for a girl who felt like the last unicorn for quite a while!
Fiona Horne www.fionahorne.com/
Lucy Cavendish www.lucycavendish.com/
So despite Pop cultures influence on ideas of witches, i know who i am but I don't think i have ever come right out and said it before... i think i have hid behind the term pagan or faerie or something like that.
It is time to authentically express who i am, to not shy away or fear, for how can i dispel fear if i am afraid of being open about a major aspect of my self?
Ah relief, I guess i'm out of the broom closet then...
Blessed Be
xx
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